Hi I'm Reese, and this *dramatic late night news music* is my tumblr. Welcome. Pizza is everything, do not question me on this fact of life. Thanks. My tags are below. There is NO tagged/me, it's tagged/Reese. I like Harry Potter, LOTR, 80s/90s R&B, wigs, and margaritas on Sunday. If you like any of these things, we're probably going to be great friends. <3
I’m so tired of seeing and hearing nasty shit being said about Black women.
And I’m tired of being told to “lighten up” and “learn how to take a joke” when I’m offended.
I just can’t be the shoulder for everybody all the time. I give so much of myself that at the end of it all, I have nothing left for me, and I am exhausted. I have not taken the time to deal with any of my stress, grief, pains, joys, nothing…because I’m too busy making sure everyone else is alright. And what really hurts is that a lot of the people I call friends and family, people that know what’s going on, don’t stop talking long enough to ask me if I’m alright, or if I need to be listened to. I have yet to allow myself 24 hours of uninterrupted me time, because everybody needs a piece of me. And I cannot, I refuse to do it anymore. I don’t know if that’s selfish, or mean and I don’t care. I just really do not give a damn anymore. What good is always being there for others if I can never get the same in return? I have nothing left for me, and that seems like the shit end of the stick in my opinion.
So no, I can’t listen right now, I have no advice, and I don’t care if you call me a bitch, and talk about me. I just cannot do it.
This job search is sapping the life out of me. I should not be in tears every time I get a rejection email. I cannot keep doing this shit day in and day out.
I want you to
Trace the lines and folds of my lotus
With your lips, tongue, and teeth
Sipping the dew that gathers on my leaves.
your head and drink of me as it overflows and
Drops slowly off my petals, landing in your hands.
Calmly kiss my bud goodnight
So she may be ready for you
Come dawn again
It really baffles me that it doesn’t occur to people to ask you about your day, or how you’re feeling before they lay a whole bunch of rants, negativity and bad news on you. I’m a good listener but sometimes that stuff blows my good mood. Then I feel bad for feeling annoyed that I don’t want to hear it. And THEN I get angry for not allowing myself to feel annoyed at the inconsiderate nature of it all. Above all else, the least you could do is ask me if I can or want to talk at that moment. What if I’m having a bad day or I’m upset about something?
The past few months have been so emotionally draining and damn near depressing for me, it’d just be nice if folks let me enjoy the good days. I feel selfish for even saying that.
You see how some people post links to nasty and/or scary things and then say ”click at your own risk”
and then you scroll up the dash and you see someone reblogging that post like:
”wtf, why did you post that?!!” or “nahhh, i wasn’t expecting that, i’m gonna throw up!!”
I be looking at this shit like:
why would you click that shit breh? you should know it’s some fuckery awaiting you.
I’m not adventurous enough to go see what’s behind the link. Nah, I’m good.
Hell, if I’m with my friends and one of them suddenly starts running..best believe I’m running with them and asking questions later. I ain’t staying there tryna figure out what he’s running from. I’m just running after that nigga too because you never know.
Like in horror films, when they hear some strange noise behind a door and go check..lol, not me, I’m u-turning and walking away from that door asap. Getting out of the house and forgetting that house and that part of the map.
I’ve always been like that. The only cat my curiosity gon get killed is pussy, you know, because i’m tryna decipher the ways of the vagina. I ain’t tryna go out for being too nosy. nah.
If you’re upset with my blog actually being about me then move the fuck on.
And keep it the fuck moving.